Well Hi! My name is Elena (you can call me Nena)! I am a Mexican Latina on a thrilling mission to empower SAHMs raising toddlers 24/7, through motivational topics on Faith, and Marriage, intentional Homemaking and Mommying as well as purpose-filled Womanhood!
I am Texas girl⭐ living in the California world! I love the Lord Jesus, my family and my haters.👌 I am former Pre-K Teacher, but am now a Stay-at-Home-Mom, and Wife! I have been happily married for 4 years and have been blessed with a Boy and a Girl. And a German Sheperd.
I’m here for Moms who, like me, know what it’s like to lose yourself taking care of everyone else day in and day out. I believe in the possibility and the ‘okay-ness‘ to pursue your own personal desires in the midst of it all, and that until you do, is when everything else will fall gracefully into place in your role as a Wife, a Mom, and as a Princess of God.
Well, I’m excited you’re here! So let me give you a big ol’ hug and share a glass o’ wine for joinin’ me!
THIS IS MY STORY:
You know that sense of self loss, resentment, dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment that can sometimes come with doing nothing but change diapers and cater to your husband?
That had been me for a long time. In fact, I’ve been a homemaker since way back before I even married or became a Mom at all. When I was 8 yrs. old, my Father married his now wife of more than 20 yrs. Less than 3 years into her marriage with my Father, my narcissist step-mother acquired complete control of my life. I kid you not. Complete. Control of MY life.
That meant that baby after baby after baby (until she had 5 babies) were consistently cared for by me. It meant cooking and housekeeping (nonstop) depended on me. It meant that I forcibly wore what she wanted (Long skirts only). It meant fixing my hair how she wanted (just a bun). It meant never using the phone unless calling my Mom, (and even then I would ask permission). It meant I never went to a single school field trip, ever. It meant pursuing the career that she wanted and not what I wholeheartedly desired.
It also meant I never got to share an ice cream with a friend or a movie with my cousins or a date with a guy, ever; not even beyond my 20s!
She even dictated what time I showered and what underclothes I could wear! (Yes, literally).
She didn’t allow me to pursue a job until my mid 20s because I was “too dumb and naïve”.
A whole year since meeting my then boyfriend, my stepmother invested every ounce of her energy giving us a really hard time, as well as attempting brainwashing and manipulating me, disrespecting him, putting him down and humiliating him in front of people, trying to take advantage of him, etc. Just to name a few examples.
After that whole year, the last straw was when she called him behind me and my Dad’s back to talk bad about me to get him away from me. My man is humble, but she attempted treating him stupid. She legit thought he would fall for it and when he didn’t, she straight-up demanded that he no longer look for me. For good.
I left the house 2 weeks later!✌
Married 8 months after that.💍
For 16 long years I got so used to her narcissistic abuse that I literally could not see to what degree she had hindered me. I didn’t even know what she was doing was wrong. My now husband had attempted helping me see it because it was so bad! But as is typical in abusive and manipulative situations, I went as far as defending her. But now I see it all the way it is and always has been.
Why’d I wait so long to leave, you ask?
My siblings are the world to me! I do not complain about them, let alone have I ever resented them. The circumstances never changed the fact that I love and cared for those kids like they were my very own. I have the guts to say that now that I know what actually having kids of my own is like. I couldn’t just pick up my things and leave! I prayed on my knees before the Blessed Sacrament, Every. Single. Day. Sooner than later I realized it was now or never; that I had to, eventually, live my own life.
My best and young years literally went from raising my siblings, straight to raising my own family (pregnant and nursing nonstop for 2 yrs). I have always lived for someone else. My babies are toddlers now, and for the first time in my life, I feel a sense of freedom and space that has motivated me so much to start focusing on my own personal aspirations, without sacrificing my family or my faith!
In my pursuit of ‘doing more’, ‘being more’ and seeking something that didn’t involve tending to someone other than myself, is how this BLOG came to be.
What happened in the past, is there. In the past. What my Father’s Wife has done is between her and the Lord. I have only my little family to answer to now and what I do from now on is in God’s hands. I have Him to thank for bestowing blessing upon blessing in my happy marriage.
(It was about time I got over hiding this side of my story. Note that this was not about exposing the Woman who raised me. After all she is my Dad’s Wife. I opened myself up to elaborate how far I’ve come in a journey of my own and how much I continue to fully thrive in my life! It has taken me every last ounce of courage to share this with you with my heart in hand and I wholeheartedly hope that you embrace it and can take something good with you).
Now, in my own journey to creating a life of fulfillment, I have found inspiration to empower other pretty Mamas who want to do the same, but who feel it’s not doable.
In the process of creating the lifestyle that “I” want, the impact it has had in my vocation as Wife and Mom has been beyond remarkable! I am finally finding myself, and have started to fully embrace who I am (not who I was made to think I was or what anybody else expects me to be). I have began taking self-care seriously and prioritizing my needs. As a result, I have become a better person for it. I can carry out my Mommy duties in a much fresher mood. And not only do I feel like a lady beside my husband as his Woman that I am, but I feel like the goddess of a home I can now call my very own.
So, how can I keep this to myself and not inspire other beautiful Women? I can’t just watch my personal life fall into place and not share with you how I do it and what keeps me motivated! Because a life of happiness, purpose, satisfaction and fulfillment does not come by itself. It doesn’t come with a husband, and it’s not included in your offspring. Contentment and gratitude starts with you! You set the tone.
Well, are we in this together??
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