What was it that one Mom said about looking in the mirror and suddenly realizing that the mess reflected right on front of her was just NOT her? Has that ever happened to you? Have you just woke up one day and thought: “This can’t be me. What the hell has happened”? The first few times I came across that kind of Mom I had no idea what she was talking about. I wondered why she would say that. I mean, I had a baby and didn’t feel that way.
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But then baby #2 happened. And one day, over 2 years into Motherhood, it happened. And just like that, “that Mom” freakishly appeared right of nowhere upon looking into my bathroom mirror one morning after washing my face. The longer I stood there looking, the more I question what I was doing…or not doing with myself. I had no desire to continue engaging with that creepy woman, whose hair was even still a mess, so I proceeded to give myself a ‘touch up’. Now there I was plucking my eyebrows I front of a good mirror, and guess what? I got a good look at my eye bags. Like multiple eye bags under each eye!!
If any of this sounded familiar to you, you tell me how I felt the rest of that day!
Now, if looking a certain way can cause feelings of inadequacy, lack of motivation, and overwhelm (aka mom funk) and influence the way you conduce yourself throughout your day, then imagine what can happen when you wake up with a choice to make a change and fill your day with purpose and intention. And how can you do that? In this post, I have elaborated 18 tips to get you pumped and ready to slay your day like you mean it! These are my own tips that make me feel 100%👌
Leave a new change out the night before
The first major thing that stared to bother me SO much and made me feel icky from the start was waking up (and staying in) the same ol’ clothes from the day before. And usually it was leggings. I started wearing jeans, capris, shorts, and comfortable but cute stretchy blouses that made me feel nice. If this appeals you, changing in the morning will be lots easier!
To do lists
Feed the dog
Get the humans dressed
Feed the humans
You get the idea. As simple as it is, when you cross of task by task it just feels so good! Buy a pretty note pad and it’ll be more appealing! 😉
Start you day early
Ok, but why, what difference does it make? Waking up at least 2 hrs before the kids do is SO refreshing. Omg I can so perceive the sense of peace and warmth of silence, inspiration, coffee, prayer, a good book, whatever fuels your soul to get going, then is the time!
Yes girly, wash your pretty face and whiten your teeth. Pull up your hair and add an extra touch that makes you feel alive and confident as a woman. For me, that is accessorizing. I constantly have earrings on.
Pump up with a healthy breakfast
It’s important to take care of the outside to feel good, but it is ideal and imperative that we fill the inside with goodness just as well. That will enhance a healthy lifestyle that ultimately makes you feel so alive and ready to go!
Music in the Morning
Music has powers, did you know that? Just like it’s nice to start the day off right for you, part of that is doing the same for you children, in the name of your own sanity. It’s a must! If my babies wake up before 8, I have instrumental music softly playing so as to set the tone for the day and creates a calm, happy environment for them (omg it works wonders)! The magnitude of influence it has on their behavior for the day is beyond impressive! Then later, since they love to dance, we blast loud active music to dance, run, scream, play and everyone’s happy.
Do something fun before noon
Mornings are the ideal time to set the tone and the same goes for your children, so that you can have a less than chaotic day. Going out for a walk is my favorite, but you can choose from any of these quality activities and go from there.
Shower in the evening
While for some Moms, showering early is their go to, for other Moms of young toddlers (like me) Mornings are just not the best time to wash up. There is nothing I like more than to wake up fresh and clean still smelling like the shower I took the night before, vs going to bed wearing on me everything I did that day. Not only that. The evening is the perfect time to make it more than a shower. It is a HOT shower for me to take as long as I need in there to wind down from the day. So relaxing!
Spend time on YOU!
DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP!
I know you have unfolded laundry, I know. But are you aware that nobody in the world cares about that but you? In the afternoon after fun and lunch, I put both the kids to bed and they sleep for at least 2 hrs! And I don’t care what chore is waiting for me around the house but that time is MINE and them chores can just keep waitin’!
One day my babies will be gone and I don’t wanna wake up and realize I’ve been left alone, lost, and empty handed because I didn’t invest in myself as a Woman!
Happy Mom, Happy Home
I. Can. Not. Tell. You. Enough. How much my days have changed since I decided to fulfill my personal desires as a person that is more than a Homemaker. It has made me a truly happy person and as a result I have been able to model positive behavior to my children!
I don’t think I have tried this, but many Moms swear by it and say it automatically trains the body out of laziness and makes them feel and actually be more active.
Handle “important things”
In case you have failed to contemplate the degree of value in what you do and you feel pretty unsatisfied for not “working” or feeling unaccomplished in the professional field, then taking full control of payment making, researching home improvement stuff, calling service providers, etc. is something Moms have sworn gives them that sense that they are contributing. Especially when they feel like crap just because their husbands are the sole income earner, and even more when gift-giving time comes. By the way, another thing you can do along with this here is to do extra little things that’ll get you a little extra money when you need it quick.
Say no. Just. NO.
You already have a demanding life with kids to care for and a husband to be there for. The last thing you need is strangers repeatedly expecting things from you, especially when they start to pick up on your generosity and take advantage of you; or worse yet, loose the respect! Nope. Bye!
Drop negative, disrespectful people without warning
Ok, so I am like, pressing my lips, shaking my head and smiling at this very moment writing this! If there is ONE ultimate thing in life I have ZERO tolerance for, it’s DISRESPECT!
A strong Woman who has respect for herself will NEVER tolerate disrespect!
The moment someone does that to me, my husband or I put a stop to it REAL quick! It’s happened multiple times and after that the ignoring begins. Then I just amuse myself watching how surprised they are about my distance😄 Like if they don’t don’t know what they’re doing…No Shame.
I once asked Moms who their biggest source of pain was and I was stunned that the majority said it was their own mother (or both parents)
And I can talk about this subject until I am blue in the face, but just let me leave you with this: It doesn’t matter who it is at all (unless you share a child). Other than that, you need to disengage with any person (WHOEVER that is) that lives to do the opposite of contributing growth, goodness and peace in your life! I KNOW what I am telling you! You will not regret the sense of relief that eventually comes with that. So get an EXIT sign or a job application for them and show them the way out. BYE! No one needs your explanation on their own disrespectful attitude.
Seek Inspiration and Motivation
This one kind of goes in hand with the tip above I just mentioned. Once you remove bad apples, you have time and energy to construct the positive and invest in yourself! Maybe it’s a self-empowerment book, or an Instagram account with inspirational quotes, or a motivational blog, or a Christian devotional, or best friend, life coach, or spiritual mentor. Whatever works for you, make time for it on a daily basis and stay consistent and disciplined.
Mom Guilt? Talk to her in the face!
My dear friend, there will just have to be times that you are gonna have to stop right where you are, analyze what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. You will have to determine the circumstances you have control over so that you can make the necessary changes to make you feel better as a Mom a Wife and as a Woman. And that shouldn’t be hard because of all the tips I’ve provided.
Be consistent with what makes you feel put together
For some, that may be mascara and lipstick, for others it may be being shaved and having a manicure, or a gym membership. For me it’s smelling good, accessorizing and having my pedicure done.
Often times, life throws us more than we can handle and when you can’t manage everything, it doesn’t mean your a sorry excuse of a failure as a Mom. It just means it’s time to make important choices regarding what’s critical to take care ofand what you can just let go of.
Give yourself grace
You have permission to NOT do it all! If fact if you wake up one day and think: “I’m just not havin’ it today, I can’t deal with this, or I just need a freakin’ break”. Then you NEED a freakin’ break! Let it go for a day! Forget the chores, heat up the frozen nuggets, turn on the TV, give yourself that time without beatin’ yourself up about it.
Make a change in your home
You how one of the ultimate things that contribute to a boring everyday pattern, is the tedious same ol’ routine or habits. Part of this is influenced by our home design, furniture or decor. Make a change! Rearrange your furniture, renovate your bathroom, paint your kitchen, refurnish your bedroom, what do I know? Where’s your favorite spot in the home? Get creative there?
Bonus Tip: Try Something New
I left this for last because it is my favorite! It is the factor that ultimately gave me meaning, purpose and happiness as a Woman. Not as a ‘Mommy’ or a ‘Wifey’ (those have their own merits), but as an individual with personal likes, dreams and aspirations. I have something that gets me up early and ready to start my day. I know what I will do with my day and my time when I have it and I enjoy it! I have a profound sense of fulfillment like I had never had before, even in my previous professional carreer!
What hobbies do you have? What talents do you enjoy carrying out? What is making you feel that now is not the time to be yourself and make time to do what you want?
And lastly, what example do you want to give to your kids??
A Final Word
I want to make one thing clear before you leave. I did not write this post for “ugly/crappy looking” Moms. This post was designed to enhance your own self-fulfillment as a being and feeling more than “just Mommy”. Yes, we have deflated boobs, messy hair, eye bags and 2 day old yoga pants. But you know what that means? LIFE. You are a Life giver! Next time you look in the mirror and miss the blossom, vivacity and vigor, glance over at your children, because that’s where it went. When you look at THEM and see them blooming with life, zest and high spirits, that’s what YOU gave them. Be proud!