I once came across a post from Kristina Kuzmic talking about how we feel like we’ve lost ourselves in Motherhood and how our approach to finding ourselves seems like we’re hoping to find our old self. She goes on to emphasize that we are indeed not lost, but changed.
She says: “Something as challenging and as beautiful as Motherhood was bound to transform you. It’s hard to enjoy what is when you’re busy chasing what was”.
My Mom life journey had obviously not gone far enough because that post definitely hit some nerve of mine when I first saw it. I was at what felt like the peak of my own Mom life hardships raising 2 under 2 not knowing what that was going to be like. So of course I took her input the wrong way and thought “What? How dare she defy my sense of self loss as something keeping me from being happy with the new life I have”?
She’s actually talking to the Moms still trying to embrace their old ways in order to feel like a sense of identity.
Looking for ways to nurture my longing sense of individuality didn’t necessarily mean I wanted my old ways back (in fact, I’d never go back there!). Much less did it ever mean I wasn’t overall genuinely happy with where I stood as a Mom.
It meant there had to be more to my new self, without my whole self just consisting of ME- “Elena” being nothing (or no one) other than “Mom”.
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At the same time, you know what the truth is?
The truth will remain that it is indeed Motherhood that taught me things about myself I never imagined.
Motherhood IS how I found myself and also what made me discover personal capacities I wouldn’t of otherwise known I was capable of!
I have found myself obligated to move past my comfort zone to a magnitude of doing the unbelievable!
As a Mom , I have time and time again, found myself literally forced into situations I would have otherwise run away from if it were years back!
Motherhood has sure given me some backbone and definitely pushed me to my ultimate potential as a person, and not “just” a Mom.
It taught me:
-Body fluids don’t bother me as much.
-I am no longer too “shy” to ask!
-I’m an expert juggler.
-I’m an aspiring and active entrepreneur. What? ME? (My Mother literally told me she’s impressed at how “smart” I am!😆
-It made me “rude” as a person for the first time in my life upon realizing how much lack of boundaries people have!
-Motherhood became the first time I started answering NO, to others including my friends and family members.
-In the name of my son or daughter, I CAN do “whatever it takes”.
-I can function on little to no sleep.
-I’ll fight for them and won’t take NO for an answer.
-Making lists is my new hobby because it turns out mom brain is a thing after all.
-I can do almost ANYTHING!
-I am stronger than I ever thought possible.
-I stopped being so self-centered in my marriage and also manage to have more self-control.
What Motherhood did to my body and state of mind was the only factor in my life that has ever forced me to take care of my mind, my growth and my health like I never have before!
So…let me tell you again how I “lost myself in Motherhood”.
I found myself and much more!
“You’re not lost. You’re redefined. And you’re exactly where you need to be.” -Kristina Kuzmic.
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