Have you ever woke up one morning and said: “Today I am going to cheat on my husband!”…?
No? Me either. And you know what, I genuinely believe that no one else out there ever has either, nor do they have it anywhere on their radar. No one just wakes up one morning and decides to trash their marriage out of the blue.
People who’ve failed their spouse is not because they’re a bad person or even because they don’t love their partner. It all starts with innocent-like behavior that creeps in little by little until you end up in a devastating situation you never really intended.
But you love your spouse and would never do such a thing, right?
Or would you?
To avoid such a tragedy, it is impetrative to be on the look out for any of these following behaviors that eventually lead to the ultimate act of infidelity.
Participating in 18+ after dark groups for Moms
Its one thing to be unafraid to talk about a happy life and relationship in the bedroom after babies in a group where fellow Mamas support one another, and a completely different thing to straight up waste time letting loose on profanity while you could be investing quality time with your own husband and actually building up your marriage.
Engaging with someone else on social media
This includes looking up other men, even if you know him, like an old friend or past fellow co-worker, an ex etc. If you feel you have to hide it from your spouse, that person shouldn’t be on your list. It’s as simple as that.
Playing vulgar Mom group games
There’s games of moms sharing pictures of their husbands for others to check them out and games to pick which hot guy is yours, etc. My friend, if you have that kind of time on your hands, I would be analyzing the reasons behind your need to fantasize other men and go resolve them.
Behavior that would disappoint you if he did them
It never ceases to amaze me how shocked 😲 and “outraged” some women are upon coming across surprises on their husband’s social media when those same women, not only do the first 3 things I pointed out in this post, but also the husband bashing among sill, other things!
Looking for the guy that gave you attention
“What’s wrong with acknowledging someone who made me feel like a woman today?” If you’re repeatedly going back to ‘XYZ’ at exactly 10am weekday mornings because you know he’s working there or whatever, you are betraying your husband and teasing yourself. And, why don’t you feel your sense womanhood in your own home?
Withholding yourself, your words, your emotions and affection from your spouse because something doesn’t go your way is a cruel, unfair and manipulative behavior. After getting some space to sort out your thoughts, it’s time to move on.
Bringing up the past
Approaching past circumstances that you already said you have processed and forgiven is also a form of betrayal. You are reopening and damaging wounds only to create larger scars.
Spending alone time with the opposite gender
Most people have relationships outside of their marriage, be it an ex, a co-worker or an old friend. If your spouse is not with you when you interact with this person you are exposing yourself to highly dangerous territory!
If your spouse was standing right there and you wouldn’t act a certain way if he were watching you, don’t even go there. Just don’t.
Confiding in someone else
There is a reason you married the man you married and he should be your ultimate tear wiper. If that’s not an option then you can confide in someone else: A paid friend–A therapist!
This one goes hand in hand with the above one. Your spouse can’t just guess, and you can’t just let your emotions get big enough to ultimately burst out in inadequate ways.
Invalidating your spouses feelings
Being selfish when it comes to attention, sex, outings, family time, etc. is unfair and manipulating behavior. This anger-breeding behavior is destructive and creates division between you both.
Tearing down your husband
If gathering with your mother-in-law, your girlfriends or your Mom is going to turn into a bash fest over your husband, I would be keep in mind what that says about you. Also, you would never trash talk your bff, so don’t do it to your ultimate lifetime companion. Build him up like you’re his queen! You want to be treated like one, right?
Undermining him in public
Do not make yourself look bad and humiliate your man in front of others. It is very hurtful that the very Woman who should uplift his self-esteem, would strip him of his pride like that.
Because it’s more than just hiding money. If you’re hiding money, you’re highly likely hiding some sort of lack of discipline such as bad spending habits, gambling problems, etc. and those issues may need professional intervention.
Putting your children first
Prioritizing your husband is not done at your children’s expense. It is done for them, as it provides the best sense of security they can have as well as a happy home. So don’t just give him the left overs.
Putting you extended family/parents first
The ideal thing to always do when it comes to not only parents, but anyone for that matter, is to show that you honor and respect you spouse as well as making it clear that your marriage is solid and comes first.
Dolling yourself up for someone else
You can still dress like a lady and embrace your womanhood in the name of your own self-acknowledgement without having to straight-up make yourself sexy just to actually impress someone that is not your husband.
A Final Word
There is a reason these are called mini betrayals. There are probably the smallest, factors that seem insignificant but can yet have the ultimate blow to your whole life and destroy you and children forever. So, why play around? A woman of virtue does not have the kind of time in her hands to mess with fire and expose her entire family to a regretful and shameful situation.
These actions are the enemy. Do you have any to deal with right now? It will be a lot better to take care of it now than to attempt putting out a blaze once it reaches full scale!