Starting a family, as it is, is already on of the most major steps in one’s life. With the all rainbows and unicorns, come not-so-rosy challenges. The same with having a baby. Now put this together and approach the holiday season with it. How has that worked for ya’?
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In this post, I will share with you how that worked for me; what it made me feel, how I got over it and what I learned. With it, I hope to inspire you and encourage you to extend your thoughts on ways you can manage the holidays with your new little family, even if it’s just by approaching them with a new perspective on things.
Ever since our first year together, as soon October comes around, my husband and I prepare to brace ourselves, mentally, financially, and emotionally. Every last 3 months of the year we celebrate ALL of the following: Our anniversary, my birthday, Thanksgiving, My daughter’s birthday and Christmas! In my family, Thanksgiving has always been such a big deal, that if I ever told my Mother I went a year without a Thanksgiving turkey, she would cry. Literally. She would cry.
I left my house without having learned to cook other than the basic Mexican delights, so now imagine if I wanted to even make an attempt for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner! Boo!👎 Here’s what happened to me as a new, first-time-ever Wife. It was…eh, bittersweet. My husband and I had no family to go to and I couldn’t cook what I wanted. In fact that first year we did not even have a dining table! We bought a cooked turkey from Save-Mart, ate on our couch and watched Hallmark movies.
The second year, I was in the hospital having my firstborn. Since my Mom came that year, she gave us a wonderful Thanksgiving afterwards and prepared the most delicious food she had prepared every year when I was little. The best part: I took advantage of her stay to learn everything I wanted to know about preparing a nice Thanksgiving dinner. Well last year for the first time, I cooked a full and outstandingly delicious dinner. All without Mom’s supervision. I am officially a grown up! 😉
So here are some things you can think about when determining what to do with your own family.
What were your traditions growing up? What were your husband’s? What was the best part and what was your favorite food? You can come up with ways to implement a mix of both worlds. I come from a large family and was able to carry out at least one special activity starting the first year and going from there. At Thanksgiving, I cook my Turkey and we take out pieces of paper on which throughout the year we had written the blessings and accomplishments we are grateful for. On Christmas, my hubby makes his special tamales with the recipe from the place he grew up in, and we also share with the homeless.
Here’s what I learned and that you can reflect on anytime you feels the blues, or the stress on the Holidays like I did:
*When I realized we had no one to celebrate with, I became thankful that we had each other and how special it was that we got to have that very first year together as newlyweds.
*When I was bitterly attempting to eat the food we bought from the store, I contemplated that there was someone out there with no meal at all, and no one to share one with them.
*When I was in that hospital with my newborn on Thanksgiving, I thought about everyone who was in the hospital for other reasons; being sick, severe illness or disease, dying, patients with no visitors, you name it. All while I got to sit there with my healthy little blessing enjoying my husband’s company.
*I learned that I have no right to feel deserving of anything more than what God has giving me. Why? Because amongst so much tragedy and misery in the world that people go through, God gave me a home, a loving husband and healthy children. He gives me health, strength and I never go to bed hungry.
*This year, someone out there has a child dying. Someone just lost their husband. Someone is spending the holidays locked up. Someone out there will be celebrating without their Mom or other gone loved one for the first time.
I will always be sure that I am beyond blessed with enough to pass it on to my children and celebrate every year with a content and humble heart.
What have you learned from your struggles as a new family trying to establish your own memories? How have you managed? What is it you want your own children to remember 20 yrs from now?
Share in the comments how you have particularly felt this year; where you are at and what you wish to accomplish. I whole heartedly wish you a Blessed Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!
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