“What’s the matter Mommy?”, my 3 year old asked while removing both of my hands from my face. “Are you sad?” she said upon seeing my tears.
My husband, sitting right next to me playing his keyboard piano, either hadn’t noticed (I know he did), or was figuring out what he was going to do about it, how he was going to approach my pain or was he already just used to it in a way, that he was just going to let it go…? I mean, we were supposed to be practicing our music and I was doing my best to sing, trying to act natural so I don’t know. It was just when I couldn’t take the overwhelm anymore that I just buried my face in my hands.
“What’s wrong, Mamas?” my husband finally asked, shutting that thing off and turning toward me gently caressing my face.
How do you even answer that when you know it’s just your hormones biting your butt, your arm your leg…??
There always seems to come a point when the burdens of the problems that we have as it is just become extra overwhelming when we’re pregnant!
I proceeded to attempt explaining how bad and stressful I felt because of my pregnancy, the anemia, the major issue our family is facing right now, the toddlers on me 24/7, etc. It has been highly stressful realizing how little to no control I have over the way I feel or even the way I act toward the kids. I told him how sad everyday ends for me knowing how mean I feel I behaved toward my littles that day and that no matter what I just couldn’t help it. I wasn’t being the mother I wanted to be and it hurt me that I also couldn’t even be a support to my husband during our hard times right now, like I had hoped I would.
I felt so helpless! So hopeless, incapable and weak.
Related Reading: Surprise 3rd Pregnancy | My Fears and Other Thoughts
If you have ever felt anything similar, you must be here to find ways to de-stress while pregnant so that you are able to actually function as a Mom without repeatedly snapping at the kids, as well as function as a Wife so you aren’t giving your Man the leftovers.
The following ways to de-stress while pregnant that I have tried (and approved at 7 months pregnant, so far), will not only relax and recharge you, but you will also be left with a sense of freshness, beauty, joy and self-love! You even embrace your pregnancy under a whole new perspective.
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Tell the Man the babies are his for a while
And you know what I mean. Yes greet him, eat with him, talk about his day. But I mean just as you turn on your Wife mode for him upon his return from work, you are team; he is also the husband and he is parent. This means it won’t hurt anyone to tell him you’re just gonna go chill for a few, all by yourself. Pick even just 15 minutes of uninterrupted time to do what ever you want in your cozy space or if you need an hour or more, go out and get you something!
Watch YouTube Mamas
This is, literally, my number 1 favorite thing to do when I get away from everything and everybody and just wanna chill and not work or clean! It is motivational, entertaining, educational, fun, and inspirational. It just distracts me, relaxes me and helps me get through my day when just I need some down time.
Long hot shower/bubble bath
While showers are my ultimate way to relax, many women swear by soaking in some bubbles/fragrance/lavender/sea salts. Not only does this lower your “stress hormones”, but you spend the rest of that night and following day feeling so fresh and good about yourself that it just sets a whole new mood and sense of vitality in you!
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Take some nesting time
I feel like it’s just me, but I swear there is just something so therapeutic about sitting on the floor of the nursery looking through everything your baby will be wearing! Whether your sorting it, smelling it, organizing or folding it for the thousandth time , the sense of joy and peace it brings you is beyond priceless.
Run a diffusor or light up some fragrant candles
Did you know that 75% of our emotions are triggered by smells? Appealing fragrances and fresh aromas are highly linked to senses of pleasure and well being. Adding this self-indulging touch to your home will not only set the tone in your entire home, but will especially influence your mood into one of contentment and delight.
You may also like: 25 Signs Mom Needs a Break-Are You Ignoring Any Of These?
You need music in your life
We all need music in our life. It’s why there is no restaurant, store, office, or any other public place without it. There is a reason you hear music every place you walk into. It’s what sets the mood, the spirit, that feel…it’s how we function! Your toddlers will appreciate it too!
Browse online for baby stuff
Similar to my nesting suggestion, if this sounds like something that can get you thrilled and excited, then it might amuse you for a while to distract yourself doing this and enjoy making a list wants, needs, cutes or must haves.
Purchase a highly appealing book that you will be motivated to read!
I started reading again 2 babies after getting married. I had forgotten how good reading felt like. In fact, I had forgotten that I was a reader at all! When the day came for me to start acknowledging the importance of prioritizing my needs and wants as much as I did everyone else’s, was when I started to function much better as person and as a Wife and Mom.
If you feel like taking the kiddos out for fast food, then just do it!
I’ll admit it, hubby works long days and when I get bored and just wanna go out and indulge in some craving, and distract the kids out for a while, I feel guilty and hesitate to do it sometimes. But I will also not hesitate to reveal the fact that when I do, both my kids and I feel really happy and satisfied; therefore setting a smooth flow for the rest of the afternoon for all of us.
You NEED to sleep!
I dare you try just one time, as soon as you put the kiddos down for their nap, for you to drop every care you have in the world and ditch the to-do list. Close your bedroom door, hug a pillow and put another between your legs. Close your eyes and you will drift off to dreamland only to wake up a couple hours later FEELING SSOOO GOOD!! In fact, you will also feel guilty-free. Like I said, I dare you try it. That way if I’m wrong you can come back and rub it in my face.
Take your kids window shopping
By this I actually mean walking around stores like Dillard’s, Sears, Macy’s, JCPenny, etc. There is just something so much fun about it not only for the toddlers (who’s favorite part is the escalator) but also for us who are always thrilled to look around home décor sections and such! Especially during their seasonal displays!
Take a walk out in the sun
Go out and breathe in that sense of life and freshness. Instill that vitality and let your mood go up just by taking it all in while getting that much beneficial exercise!
Touch up and do/wear something that makes you feel put together
Yes my fellow Mama, wash your pretty face and whiten your teeth. Pull up your hair and add an extra touch that makes you feel alive and confident as a woman. For me, that is accessorizing. I constantly have earrings on. For you it may be a nice perfume, or mascara and lipstick, or a manicure.
You may also like: 30 Ways to Pamper Yourself Regardless of How Much Time You Have
Go ahead drop people taking advantage of you or just any commitment really. Your life is already demanding at the moment as it is, so there is no need for others to expect anything from you right now. If anything, say yes to help from others!
Give yourself grace and clear your whole schedule for an entire day
You have permission to NOT do it all! If fact if you wake up one day and think: “I’m just not havin’ it today, I can’t deal with this, or I just need a freakin’ break”. Then you NEED a freakin’ break! Let it go for a day! Forget the chores, heat up the frozen nuggets, turn on the TV, give yourself that time without beatin’ yourself up about it.
Design a cozy Mama cave just for YOU to retrieve to
This can be your own bedroom and you can make it as simple as having a fragrant candle lit, a refreshing nice smelling cream on hand, a good book on your night stand, pretty fairy lights around your bed, freshly washed bedding that still smells of fabric softener, low spa music playing in the background, an appealing snack, you name it; get creative. The idea is that you design this just for you and not allow the toddlers around, at least while you are there getting some down time.
Tuck the toddlers in an extra hour early for a day
I promise you no matter how your day went, giving yourself that extra hour of down time goes a really long way! In fact sharing that moment to just relax and talk about anything with your husband in bed before going to sleep is such a pleasing and nurturing way to end your day.
Meditate and pray
What can be better than ultimately giving everything to God before you start your day or handling your burden to him at the end of the day? Take the time to meditate on his word, count the blessings he has bestowed upon you and offer your worries to him. Experience the sense of peace and relief that comes with remembering to include the Lord in your struggles as well as your triumphs!
The Ultimate Takeaway👇 MUST READ!
My husband listened wholeheartedly to everything that managed to come out of my mouth upon my attempted explanation of what it was that was stressing and overwhelming me. I am blessed to have a Man that knows when to respond and when to just listen. Today he did both and when he does speak, he always seems to have the most genuine, comforting words.
But here’s what happened that day…
On this particular day it wasn’t even about what he had to say. No. What he did was a gesture he had never had before in our 5 years of marriage!
He called our children over, and said: “Come over here you guys, come give Mommy a hug. Mommy is sad, let’s all give her a big hug”.
And just like that between my babies and my husband, they all gathered around me and held onto me for multiple minutes letting me cry without letting go. After a minute, my 3 year old kissed my cheek and said “I love you Mommy, I love you”, therefore leading to an exchange of kisses and “I love you’s” between all of us.
Why am I sharing this?
Because if there is one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s that no matter how tired, overwhelmed, fed up, or upset you may get and no matter how many times you feel the need and urge to just get away from everything and anyone, you have nothing nor no one in this world like your family. They are the only ones who will ever be able to give you what you will never have anywhere else, especially when you need it the most. Never forget the power of acknowledging your feelings before the people who love you the most and you will be beyond surprised!
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