When I was a teenager (eww), it was a time when my Dad’s ministry with his wife, was to carry out marriage retreats and provide counseling to couples. Being exposed to all the resources and info they used at such a time in my life, had quite an impact on my concept of marriage. I thought i’d be so “ready” ( whatever that means) for marriage when the time came and that I would already know what to do and what not to do to have a happy relationship.
I thought I would be most graceful wife ever!
Well sure enough, almost 4 years into our marriage and it’s all still cherry pie and white picket fences!😍
Did you just think to yourself: “Baloney“? You are kinda right. Of course 5 yrs into my marriage, my rose-colored glasses would be worn off by now! So of course it’s not always perfect! It never will be. That is why it takes consistent steps and repetitive effort to maintain your relationship’s spark.
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Also, let me assure you right now. I am NO graceful little snowflake!
But, if I can help hold myself accountable to improve my own marriage every day, and help you in the proccess, then it might as well be a post like this one. Below are some realistic tips that will help you keep in mind what it takes to keep your marriage fresh and make it thrive, even in the midst of trials that come with it (because they will come)!
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Be humble and have grace
You are more likely to regret not having held your tongue, than feel sorry for the times you have managed to refrain from saying something you would have regretted.
Arguments don’t have winners
Learn to acknowledge when you are wrong and don’t always try to be right. Remember that you are a team. Fight against the problem and not against each other.
Choose your battles
Face it; you did not marry a perfect person. If you reproached your spouse over everything you disagreed with, you would be living in complete misery; with absolutely no sense of peace. Not everything is a biggy. Learn to let the small things go.
Don’t you ever lie to your spouse
Trust can go a long way in a relationship, if you are not honest with your spouse, you will not be appreciated nor trustworthy, and that, my friend, is the perfect foundation for a marriage destruction.
Remember even those smallest details you would do just to get your man’s attention to begin with? Marriage is not a red light for these things to stop. Continue surprising him and please him every once in a while. There is no harm in that. In fact, you will keep that spark alive!
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Cherish every bad moment
I think of that saying that goes There’s no rainbow if you don’t go through the storm first. This is so true when it comes to marriage. If it weren’t for the bad times, how would your relationship grow and blossom? Embrace your challenges together and learn from them.
Be each other’s best friend
Mess around, laugh at his not so funny jokes and have fun with one another. Play around like kids once in a while. Have each other’s backs. Show your husband how much you confide in him; remember he is your #1 secret keeper!
Umm…no. I did not mean that. What I am trying to emphasize here is kiss, hug, hold hands! And no, that does not mean a quick peck nor a Netflix marathon in his arms, nor touching his hand only in the car. Kiss and caress each other for several minutes. Surprise and approach him behind his back while he does the dishes ( haha, does the dishes). Contemplate one another. Embrace each other like there is no tomorrow and disregard considering where you are whenever you feel the impulse to express your affection. (My husband loved this in spite of looking everywhere every time I kissed his head or cheek)!😄
Apologize and forgive
Originally, I had just put Forgive, but then I thought why not acknowledge my mistakes too and learn to humbly approach my husband when I am in the wrong? My friend, you have no idea the degree of appreciation some men can have when we take this initiative.
Ultimately, remember why you got married
I was working on my pedicure on our big day when Nabor and I started arguing, surely over something ridiculous. I ended up yelling at him and next thing I knew, I was trying to finish my pedicure through my own tears. By then my mother, who I was blessed to have that day, discretely reminded me that this bitter moment was only one of many more to come, and that when they did, I was to look back on that special day; remember how in love I was and what I loved about him. I was to relive the eagerness and anticipation, all the hopes and dreams I had for the two of us. I would remember our vows and why we said them.
This tip, has been one of the ultimate methods that help me re-acknowledge and contemplate my love for Nabor. I’ll even play one our love songs from our wedding just to think of that first very special stage in our life.
There have been times that I have literally ran off, there have been times I felt like never speaking to him again and times that couldn’t care less if he were far away from me (or so I felt), but you know what? I have always come back. And each time, he has stayed put and been here waiting with open arms. And each time negativity comes weaseling its way between us, I just remember…Why, I got married. And not only that, I think of all the good times and the bad that have brought us together and where we stand today.
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